We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
