I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
