last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize