my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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