I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
