i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
