I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
