"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
