that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
