There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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