He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
