this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
