obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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