so let's talk penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
