that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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