i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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