Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
