Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
