my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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