fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize