that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
