I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize