I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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