I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
