You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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