so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
