Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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