If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize