Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
