hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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