At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
