I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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