Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
