Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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