Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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