i'm signing you up for texting rehab
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
