Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
