Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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