a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
