There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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