My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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