making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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