So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
