I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
