There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
