we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
