Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
