I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
