What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
