Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
