Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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