Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.

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(831): View more from California

yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd

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(703): View more from Virginia

you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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(760): View more from California

Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?

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(646): View more from New York

I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole

(516): View more from New York

Hahaha oops.

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