Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (996) Bad night (2137)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (770) Bad night (4706)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

  (214): View more from Texas

  kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in 10

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  (903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh
  Replies (19) Good night (6070) Bad night (881)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby

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  (973): She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby http://tfl.nu/drn9
  Replies (13) Good night (704) Bad night (5307)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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  (+44): Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones? http://tfl.nu/hoh3
  Replies (8) Good night (1833) Bad night (3998)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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  (404): Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits. http://tfl.nu/2cej
  Replies (10) Good night (9835) Bad night (1081)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day

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  (703): Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day http://tfl.nu/hrk3
  Replies (8) Good night (10010) Bad night (1067)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.

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  (501): SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD. http://tfl.nu/21ls
  Replies (30) Good night (12031) Bad night (1433)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.

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  (+49): Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom. http://tfl.nu/2s5g
  Replies (6) Good night (2958) Bad night (1126)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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  (978): He was like a foghorn with a huge penis. http://tfl.nu/5kl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (1075)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3154) Bad night (1111)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (1154) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What happened to my knees?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.

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  (919): What happened to my knees? (1-919): You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded. http://tfl.nu/49nz
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (582)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.

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  (573): Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them. http://tfl.nu/c182
  Replies (8) Good night (977) Bad night (478)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world

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  (416): Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world http://tfl.nu/enih
  Replies (10) Good night (719) Bad night (1049)

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