oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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