Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I should injure you considerably.

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  (847): And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so. (1-847): I should injure you considerably. http://tfl.nu/3r9j
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  (813): View more from Florida

  hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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  (813): hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/u4qg
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...

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  (678): This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home... http://tfl.nu/c5f1
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  (315): View more from New York

  my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.

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  (315): my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say. http://tfl.nu/ygp4
  Replies (20) Good night (6032) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me

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  (713): The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me http://tfl.nu/d25d
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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  (252): so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream. http://tfl.nu/3wg7
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.

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  (630): He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together. http://tfl.nu/tn1p
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday

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  (313): is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday http://tfl.nu/9ppn
  Replies (6) Good night (3449) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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  (507): Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/1ntp
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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  (732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon

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  (603): Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon http://tfl.nu/opxd
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  (310): View more from California

  Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.

  (818): View more from California

  Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement

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  (310): Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp. (818): Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement http://tfl.nu/y16x
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (384)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

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  (573): I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room. http://tfl.nu/g1i7
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  (562): View more from California

  Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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  (562): Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning. http://tfl.nu/rdpv
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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  (514): dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it http://tfl.nu/9328
  Replies (6) Good night (234) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt

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