I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
