Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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