Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Alive.
So much puke
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
