sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize